A Hunkh in the Shower
by Rointheta
Summary: "The steam dispersed and she flushed from the top of her head down to her chest as she saw a starkers, soapy Doctor standing in the turned-off shower." On her way to the console room, Rose hears the Doctor shriek for help and she rushes to assist him.


_This is the tenth fic in my 2013 Advent Calendar!_

**prompt**: "how about Rose saving the Doctor from something really small, like a spider (perhaps in the shower?) ;) (Yes, I just like when he's a bit hopeless)"  
**prompter**: fogsblue  
**beta**: resile

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**A HUNKH IN THE SHOWER**

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Rose hummed to herself as she padded down the hallway, feet protected from the hard, cold grating by a pair of fluffy bunny slippers. She yawned and scratched her head, pulling a face as her fingers got caught in her tangled tresses. Last night, after coming home from a taxing adventure with the Doctor and Jack where she'd had to pose as a noble woman, she'd gone straight to bed and fallen asleep the instant her head hit the pillow. Today she woke up hours earlier than usual, stomach growling, and mouth and throat dry from thirst. As far as she knew, Jack lay asleep in his bed, but the Doctor usually tinkered in the console room at his hour, so she headed there to see if he wanted to keep her company as she ate breakfast.

She'd just turned the corner from the bedroom quarters when a shriek pierced through the quiet and dim hallway. She stopped, heart hammering in her chest. The Doctor always bragged about how nothing could break through the TARDIS defenses, so what in the—

"Jack! Jaaaaaaaaaaack!"

The Doctor's muffled shouts spurred her into action and she darted forward, following the path the TARDIS created for her until she found herself in front of a door. She opened it without hesitation, waving her arms in front of her as she stepped into a fogged up room.

"Jack! Help!"

"Doctor, it's me," she said, her dressing gown clinging to her body as she moved through the steam. "What's going on?"

"Rose, get Jack."

"No, I can—" The steam dispersed and she flushed from the top of her head down to her chest as she saw a starkers, soapy Doctor standing in the turned-off shower. "Oh."

Her eyes followed the length of his leg, the swell of his thigh muscles, lingered at his hands cupping his… She swallowed, jaw dropping at the sight of his smooth, hairless abdomen, eyes moving upward to his chest and strong upper arms.

"Rose," he said, voice rough. "There's a hunkh in my shower."

"Yeah…" She licked her top lip before realising what she was doing, and sucked her tongue back into her mouth, shifting from foot to foot as another flush washed through her body.

"Rose. Eyes up here."

Hers had drifted down to his crotch again and she squeezed them shut before raising her head and looking him in the eye. "Wha'?"

"A hunkh. In the corner," he said, nodding at said corner. "Please remove it and do it now."

She followed his line of sight and couldn't help but snicker as she saw a small, fuzzy, blue spider perched on the baseboard. "Seriously? You're afraid of a spider?"

"No. I'm not afraid of a spider. That's a hunkh, that. If I as much as touch that bastard I'm dead within a second. And I'll stay dead! So you better shake of those bloody human hormones that are fogging up your pretty little head and remove that before it kills me."

"Oh. Oh, god. I'm so sorry," she said, rushing to the sink and emptying the toothbrush cup. She darted back to the shower, kicked off her slippers, and stepped inside, kneeling on the floor and placing the cup over the hunkh. "There!" She turned around with a big grin on her face. "I saved you from the itty bitty spider, Doc—" She lost her train of thought at the sight of a waterdrop trickling its way down his torso. Tilting her head to the side, she bit her lip and followed the trail with her eyes, all the way down to his—

The Doctor let out a chuckle and crossed his arms over his chest, feet planted wide apart. "See anything you like?"

Rose squeaked, her blood rushing to her face…and other places.

"You've got a twig in your hair, Rose. And mud on your cheek. Didn't you wash before you went to bed last night?"

"Nuh," she said, shaking her head, eyes locked on his private parts. Hishuman-looking private parts. "Uhm…"

"You're free to join me," he said, turning back around as water started pouring down over them. As though he knew where she'd directed her eyes, he wiggled his bum as he resumed washing his body with a loofah.

She pinched her arm, yelping at the pain.

"It's not a dream, Rose."

"How did you…"

He ducked his head, his shoulders shaking betraying his quiet guffaws. She pursed her lips at his arrogance, at his certainty that his invitation would intimidate her to the point where she'd scurry out of there, wearing a blush on her cheeks that would last for the rest of the day. Smirking to herself, she slid off her dressing gown, pulled her vest top over her head and shimmied out of her sleep shorts before making quick work of the remnants of her updo. Her hair spilled out over her shoulders, cool against her warm skin, and she finger combed it as she walked up to him.

"Hand me the shampoo?" she asked, watching his profile as she suppressed the giggles threatening to bubble out of her.

He froze, eyes flying wide open, jaw tensing, before he gave her a curt nod and handed her the bottle without a single glance in her direction. Working up a lather in her hair, she danced on the spot and hummed on a pop song she knew he hated. Whenever her arm brushed against his, he stiffened for a second before resuming scrubbing his body with terse, tight movements, skin turning as red as the tip of his ears. He didn't say a single word, didn't look at her, but she stole glances and could see determination written on his face. He wouldn't break, wouldn't leave, and neither would she.

"Conditioner?"

"Don't use it."

"Oh. That's not good. Hair's gonna be a nightmare! Body wash, then?" she asked and he gave her another bottle. "Got a spare loofah?"

"Nope."

"That's okay. I'll make due." She squeezed out a generous amount in her palm and began massaging it all over her body, watching him through the corner of her eye. "The tile sure is interesting today, innit?"

"Mhm," he said, staring a hole in it.

"Would you mind helping me with my back? Could do with a good scrub, yeah?"

She turned around and a few seconds passed before she felt the loofah against her back in quick, featherlight strokes, and she had to bite the inside of her cheeks to keep it together.

"There."

"Cheers, Doctor!" She washed the suds off her body and took a deep breath, letting it out in a contented 'ah' when she'd finished. "That was lovely! Your showerhead's much better than mine. It's so big!"

"Yep."

"Can you get a massage spray and that?"

"Mhm."

"Oi. How come I don't have that? D'you know how sore I am after saving the universe every day? Could do with a good massage spray. D'you even need it? With your superior body and all."

"I enjoy it."

She gave him a soft whack on the arm. "Yeah, well, so would I!"

His cheek muscle twitched. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Doctor! And d'you need me to take care of the hunk in the shower, then?"

"Hunkh," he said, enunciating the 'h' with a sharp exhale. "It's a hunkh, Rose. And, no, I'll take care of it."

"You sure? I heard you shriek, you know."

"I didn't shriek. I…reacted. And it was a completely natural reaction considering it can kill with me with one touch! And they're quite the jumpers, see, could leap up and kill me if they feel threatened."

"If you say so." She gathered her hair in a side ponytail, wringing it out as she moved out of the shower stall. "Glad to be of help."

Clenching his jaw, he inhaled through his nose and breathed out. "Thank you."

"Can I borrow a towel from you? Don't wanna risk running into Jack naked, do I?"

"There should be a clean one on the rack. The maroon one."

"Thanks," she said, grabbing the fluffy, warm towel from the rack and wrapping it around her body. "We should do this again some time, don't you reckon?"

He muttered something she couldn't discern.

"'Kay, I need to get dressed. See you later," she said, closing the door behind her as she walked out of the room and right into Jack. "Oh. Hi. Hello."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Hello yourself. Were you just in the Doc's bathroom, or am I seeing things?"

She tilted her chin up a fraction. "Seems like I was."

"And what were you doing in there."

She stared at him as though he'd just asked her what letter comes after A in the alphabet. "I'm wet and in a towel. What d'you think?"

Jack leered at her, opening his mouth as if to reply.

"No! Don't answer that," she said, grinning and wagging a finger.

"So, where's the Doc?"

"Oh, he's still in there."

"No. No!" Jack gawked at her. "You showered together?"

"Yeah." She shrugged and inspected the fingernails of her right hand. "What of it?"

"Together?!"

"Yes."

"But— Wha— Whe— Who? What? Why?"

"Dunno. Seemed like the right thing to do. D'you mind? I need to get dressed."

"But-but-but…! Did you see…?" He lowered his chin and gave her a look.

"Oh. Yeah."

"And how was it?"

She grinned, tongue poking out between her teeth. "Impressive."

"God damn it! I knew it. He walks like a man with a big—"

The door to the bathroom opened and the Doctor, clad in a dark green dressing gown, stepped out into the hallway. His mouth fell open at the sight of them, closing it as he cleared his throat and nodded at Jack.

"Captain."

"Hiya, Doc! How's it hanging?"

"Eeer… There was a hunkh in the shower…"

"Oh, I bet there was."

"Rose was kind enough and helped me."

"Oh, I bet she did."

"Anyway, need to go find some laminated paper. For the hunkh," the Doctor said, moving away from them before they'd had a chance to comment.

Jack watched him leave and turned back to Rose as soon as the Doctor had rounded a corner. "A hunkh, huh? Run into those before. Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the Doctor's—"

"Yeah."

"Mhm. So, tell me Rose. How, exactly, did you go from saving him from a spider to showering with him?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said, quirking an eyebrow.

She turned on her heel and headed down the hallway, leaving a spluttering Jack behind, laughing to herself all the way to her room.

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**the end**


End file.
